Stink Bombs, Lilacs, And No Plot
by Relatively Unknown
Summary: P.S.#4 I think. Maybe 5. Whatever. The title is self-explanatory mostly. Also, Lance talks w/Kitty and she comes over to Ace's.


A/N: I'm baaaaack! Thought u had gotten rid of me, huh? Well I'm here to tell ya I am one of the most stubborn pests on the face of the planet. (Just ask some of my friends!)  
*people start throwing things at me* Ow, hey! Ow! Fine, on w/the story! Ow! Quit it! Don't make me send a hyper Pietro after u! *they stop* Works every time. Ha ha! Ok, on w/the story.  
  
  
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"Ah, life is good." Pietro leaned back in his hammock and started to take a nap.  
  
  
Okay, you're probably lost already. Here's the deal: Yes, Pietro does take naps. It kills his boredom and gives us an hour or so of peace, so its win/win. Now about the hammock. Pietro and Lance got tired of sleeping on the floor, so I helped them put up hammocks in the living room. They can be taken down or put up in a minute, so their convenient as well. Back on track? Good.  
  
  
"And why is that?" I asked. "Normally you're complaining about how life sucks."  
  
  
"Well, I'm not normal, and neither is today." He said, his eyes shut.  
  
  
"And why is today so special?"  
  
  
"None of you're business." He said. He turned, so his back was to me. Guys are such idiots.  
  
  
Just then Lance came in. Then something strange happened. A smell to be exact. It smelled like...  
  
  
"Ah man, Lance!" I said, pulling my shirt over my face. I had to breathe through my mouth.   
  
  
"What is that smell?" It had reached Pietro on the other side of the room. "Lance! You've been around Blob too much." He did the same as me, pulling his shirt over his face.  
  
  
"Its not like that. We made stink bombs in Chemistry, and well, mine and Kitty's were a little on nasty side." He said, shrugging.  
  
  
"Ya think? God Lance, you reek!" I said. "That's it."  
  
  
I got up and headed to the bathroom, where I drew water for a bath. Lance was gonna get dunked, whether he liked it or not. I dumped almost an entire bottle of bath perfume (lilac of course) in. When it was done, I went back out into the living room. Pietro was on the floor, pretending to be gasping for air. At least I think he was pretending. I got as near to Lance as I dared.  
  
  
"March!" I pointed down the hall to the bathroom. He put his hands up, like the cops tell ya to, and marched. I followed him. "Go in and strip. Put your clothes in the hallway. Then get in the tub and scrub yourself til ya don't stink no more. Got it?"  
  
  
"Yes ma'am!" He saluted and walked in. A minute later, the door opened a crack and a pile of clothes were thrown out. Then I heard a small splash, followed by a yell.  
  
  
"YOU PUT PERFUME IN THIS!" Lance shouted.  
  
  
"NO FAKE EINSTEIN! NOW SCRUB OR ELSE I'LL SEND PIETRO IN TO DO IT!!" Sounds of fierce scrubbing came from within. Good.  
  
  
I grabbed the broom from the kitchen, and one by one, put his clothes in the washer. I slammed the lid down and set it to hot, after I dumped a ton of detergent in. He's lucky I didn't put bleach in. And not the color-safe kind either.  
  
  
Pietro was passed out on the floor. I stepped over him and opened every window I could. I put every fan I had to work. I sprayed potpourri and lighted incense in every nook and cranny. And the place still stunk to high Heaven. I went to my bedroom and grabbed those white-mask thingies and put one on. I put one on a still passed out Pietro. I actually checked to see if he was breathing. He was. I sat down on the couch, and tried to watch TV.  
  
  
A half-hour later, Lance came out in my bathrobe. "Are my clothes dry yet?"  
  
  
"No. They still stunk after the first washing, so I'm doin' them again."  
  
  
"Do have anythin' I could wear?" He asked. "Standin' here like this is kinda embarrassin'."  
  
  
"Check the spare room's closet. I think some of your and Pietro's clothes are there." He disappeared into the hallway. The place still smelled and Pietro was still passed out. Just wait til tomorrow mornin'. (The were staying over night, yet again.) Lance was gonna pay for this.  
  
  
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"Alright Mr. I Make A Dead Skunk Smell Good, wake up!" I dumped Lance out of his hammock.  
  
  
"You're one hell of alarm clock, Ace." He shook his sleepiness out and stood up. "Hey, it's still dark outside!"  
  
  
"Yup. Gotcha up early 'cause we got some work to do. Now move it!" I shoved him down the hall to the bathroom. "I'm gonna make you smell good if it's the last thing I do!"  
  
  
Lance tried to escape, but I had locked the door with a key, which was in my pocket. And he wasn't gonna get it. I dumped every scented thing I owned, from lotion to lip gloss on him. He wasn't at all happy.  
  
  
"I'm not goin' to school like this." He said.  
  
  
"Oh yes you are. I'm drivin' you there myself. And if I hear that you skipped, well, let's just say a mysterious note with a certain tape will land on Mystique's desk, as well as a copy of it will be played during the morning school news. Is that understood?" I was good. Admit. I had him backed into a corner, with only one option:  
  
  
"Fine, I'll go." I am soo bad.   
  
  
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Pietro laughed the entire time I was driving them to school. And when we got there, guess who was standing only a few feet away? Yep, you guessed, little Miss Kitty. The look on Lance's face was worth a million, at very least.  
  
  
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(In Chemistry Class)(PS:: This is from third person POV. Not Ace's. `Kay?)  
  
  
"Because of our experiment yesterday, today will be a free period. I will sign passes to the gym or library, and those of you who stay can get on the computers or talk, but not loudly. Any questions? Good. Those who want passes, come on up."   
  
  
"You gettin' a pass?" Kitty asked Lance.  
  
  
"Nah. I'm banned from the library and I hate gym. You?"  
  
  
"Library's, like, so totally dull and I, like, suck at gym. Wanna get on the computers?"  
  
  
"Nah, I don't think the kids around me would appreciate that." Lance said. He had been getting stares from everybody, and Pietro laughed at him every chance he got. It had not been a very good day so far.  
  
  
"Like, why do smell like that anyhow? It smells like.... lilacs." Kitty said.  
  
  
"It is. Some of it anyhow. Remember the stink bombs yesterday? Well, I got hit pretty good. And Ace wasn't too happy about that."  
  
  
"Just who exactly is Ace?" Wondered Kitty.  
  
  
"She's a friend of mine and Pietro's. Long story short, we basically live at her apartment most of the time. She lives over in J-Town. And yes, she does know we're mutants." He whispered that last word, just make sure no one heard that shouldn't hear.  
  
  
"And, like, she's cool with that?"  
  
  
"Yeah. Get this, she actually wishes she was one. Go figure, huh?"  
  
  
"Yeah, really. So how old is she? What she like? Wait, are you and her...." Kitty drifted off.  
  
  
"No. Not in billion years. She's grouchy, grumpy, ornery, and has a bad temper. But, before you judge her, she's can be pretty nice too. She even threw me a birthday party a while back, when no else really cared." Lance sat there, reminiscing about that day. "And then there was the time she took me and Pietro to a Halloween party at the Freak. That was an interesting night."  
  
  
"Like, was that the night Pietro ended up in jail?"  
  
  
"Oh yeah. He still ain't forgived us for pretending we didn't know him." Lance said.  
  
  
"What exactly happened?"  
  
  
"He got drunk and started jumping from chandelier to chandelier, all the while stripping."  
  
  
"Like, I did not need that mental image."  
  
  
"Mental image? Man, me and Ace actually saw it. We faked the cops out by calling ourselves by our middle names and faking British accents. It was so hilarious."  
  
  
"What is your middle name?" Kitty asked. Lance faltered.  
  
  
"Uh, I don't think you need to know that."  
  
  
"Ah, like, c'mon. I'll tell ya mine. And, like, trust me, none is worse than mine."   
  
  
"If you say so. Mine is, uh,.... Dominic." Lance muttered out.  
  
  
"Hey, that's, like, a cool name. Much better than mine."  
  
  
"Speaking of which, what is your's?" It was Kitty's turn to falter.  
  
  
"Oh, like, uh... well.... promise not to laugh?"  
  
  
"I promise."  
  
  
"Daphne." Kitty said.  
  
  
"Daphne? Your name is Katherine Daphne Pryde?" Lance held back his laughter as best as he could.  
  
  
"Oh, shut up Lance Dominic Alvers!" Kitty started laughing, which made Lance laugh. He got more stares from the other kids, but this time he didn't care. "So, like, do ya think I could meet Ace?"  
  
  
"Sure. She's pickin' me up today, so if you don't automatically rush off to home, ya can come over and meet her, `kay?"  
  
  
"Okay. How old is she?"  
  
  
"Uh... Her birthday was Saturday, so she's 21. I think. I'm 19, Pietro 17....... yeah she's 21."  
  
  
"You're 19? You mean you're older than Scott?"  
  
  
"Yup. I failed my senior year at our old school."  
  
  
"Does he know that?"  
  
  
"Dunno." Lance shrugged, wanting to get off the subject of that idiot Summers.  
  
  
"And Pietro's 17? I always thought he was the same age as Evan."  
  
  
"I did too, til he officially got his driver's license last year. He keeps beggin' me to drive my car. But I never let him. Altho' I'm waiting for the day he steals it. Then I can really pound him."  
  
  
"Like, hope that's soon." Kitty said. They continued talking til the bell rang. Chemistry was last, so they walked over and waited for Ace to show up. She did after about 5 minutes of nervous waiting.  
  
  
"Hey Lance. Where's Quix?" Ace asked.  
  
  
"I saw him skipping earlier. Ain't he at your apartment?"  
  
  
"He better not be. If he destroys one thing I'm breaking his fingers." Ace muttered. "Sorry, bad day job-hunting. This is Kitty, right?"  
  
  
"Huh? Oh yeah, she wanted to meet you." Lance said. Ace got out of the pickup and shook her hand.  
  
  
"Nice to meet ya. I'm Lacey, aka Ace."  
  
  
"I'm Kitty. Oh, like, you already knew that. Duh." Airhead Ace thought.  
  
  
"Well, let's get goin'. I gotta wash your clothes for the billionth time. Can you believe they still stink? Ugh." Ace got back into the truck. "Well? Ya comin'?"  
  
  
"Hey, can Kitty come over?"   
  
  
"What? I don't think Jean will let me. Or Scott." Kitty said.  
  
  
"So? You don't have to tell them who you're goin' with." Lance pointed out.  
  
  
"True. Okay, I'll try." ~Jean? You there?~  
  
  
~Kitty? Where are you?~  
  
  
~I'm going over to a friend's house for a little while. I'll be back before dinner, okay?~  
  
  
  
~Which friend?~ Drat, Kitty thought.  
  
  
~Oh, like, just one of the girls. So are you goin' to use the Danger Room tonight?~  
  
  
~Nah, I have to do some homework.~  
  
  
~Okay, I'll do some Danger Room work tonight. Well, I gotta go. See ya later.~ I just hope she don't go into my mind and find out where I'm going.  
  
  
"It's okay. I can go."  
  
  
"Great, hop on in." Kitty climbed into the truck and they left.  
  
  
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(`Kay, back to Ace's POV)  
  
  
"Like, cool apartment Ace." Kitty said.  
  
  
"Thanks. Lance, you forgot take the hammocks down this morning!" I scolded.  
  
  
"Sorry, I was busy getting drowned in scents. I'll do it now." A crash echoed through the apartment.  
  
  
"Oh no. PIETRO!" I yelled. Another crash came. I ran back to the spare room. Pietro was in his cage (thank God) smashing plates.   
  
  
"HeyAcewhatchadoin'?Why'sKittyhere?Idon'tcareI'mhavingfuncaretojoinme?" Whatever he said, it meant he was on a major sugar high.  
  
  
"Where did you get the plates? They're not mine are they?!"  
  
  
"NoIstolethemfromarestaurantafterIateallthosecandybarsanddrankallthatJoltandSurge." He said, continuing to smash plates. I shook my head and went back to the living room, Kitty and Lance following me.  
  
  
"How do you put up with him?" Kitty asked.   
  
  
"With enough Tylenol to knock and elephant out." I said. She must've thought I was joking because she laughed.   
  
  
"You hungry? I can make somethin'." Lance offered.  
  
  
"No burnt popcorn." I said.  
  
  
"Hey, don't dis it til you try it." Lance came back. I rolled my eyes. More crashes came.  
  
  
"Like, you eat burnt popcorn?" Kitty said. "Ew."  
  
  
"My thoughts exactly!" I told her. "See? Even you're girlfriend here hates it." Lance turned a shade of red I didn't think was humanly possible. I realized what I said. "Oh. Sorry."   
  
  
"What?" Kitty asked. I don't think she had heard me.   
  
  
"Nothin'. Just nothin'."  
  
  
"Okay." She glanced at the clock. "I better get goin'."  
  
  
"Here." I tossed Lance the keys to his car. As I walked by I whispered to him, "Don't jump in her pants yet, `kay?" If Kitty hadn't been there, Lance would have punched my lights out, girl or not. I went into the living room to watch TV.  
  
  
"Come on Kitty, let's go." Lance said.  
  
  
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(Third person POV)  
  
  
Lance dropped Kitty off a block away from the mansion. She got out and walked over to the driver's side.  
  
  
"I had fun today. I don't care what the others say, you're not all bad." She leaned down and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "See ya tomorrow, Dominic."  
  
  
Lance slid down in his seat, a dreamy look on his face. He started the car and somehow made it back to Ace's in one piece. When he walked in the door, Ace and Pietro stood there with grins on their faces.  
  
  
"Oh, Kitty, you're so hot." Pietro said, pretending Ace was Kitty and he was Lance.  
  
  
"Like, Lance, you're so cool." Ace/Kitty said, in fake Valley Girl accent.   
  
  
"I'm gonna kill you two." Lance growled.  
  
  
"Gotta catch us first!" Ace jumped into Pietro's arms and they raced down the hallway.  
  
  
"YOU TWO ARE SO DEAD!" Lance was heard yelling a mile away.  
  
  
Pietro and Ace could not stop laughing.   
  
  



End file.
